Quiet Nights and Early Mornings

Hitting Home in More Ways Than One

2009-12-21T20:42:00.000-08:00

I placed an order with Polyvinyl Rec. this fall when I did not have a concrete address, so, I had them send my records to my parents house in Regina. I figured that was a safe bet, and it was. I sorta forgot about them, and was thus pleasently surprised to have some new wax waiting for me upon my arrival. I ordered something on a whim that I am VERY happy with.

A trio featuring Kyle Fischer, Caithlin De Marrais, Mike Kinsella released a record called Open Ground. Fischer and De Marrais used to play in a band together called Rainer Maria, they picked up Kinsella, and cello player Matt Turner for this record called Open Ground. They all have various other projects they work on as well.

What initially drew me to this band was Kinsella's involvment...what a surprise (<--- sarcasm). Long story short...I am quite pleased with it. Overall, it is quiet and pretty, and their lyrics sit nicely with me. I relate to these too well...

When I'm in New York, when I'm in

Poughkeepsie, when I'm in New York

City, I'd rather be in Chicago.

When I'm in Texas, when I'm in San

Antonio, When I'm in Texas, I'd rather

be on the East Coast.

But then again...

When I'm in trouble, when I'm in

danger of losing my direction, I'd

rather have some momentum.

Are roots growing less important? It's

too soon to know if we're staying

together just to have a place to go.

When I'm in trouble, when I'm in

danger of losing my direction, I'd

rather have your momentum.

But then again...

Among Many Things...

2009-11-22T00:30:00.000-08:00

Among many things that my boss Brian said today. This one really hit me.

"My outcome is more important to me than my income."

I have subconsciously thought it for so long but never really formed the whole thought and dwelt on it. I think I may be moving backwards in relation to some people.

But I have holes in my shoes and pants.

I really wanna get rid of my cellphone. I hate paying that bill. We are paying for something that travels invisibly through the air. An expensive hinderance.

Today Jeanette and I were pummeled with information on coffee bean origin, blend, history, care, and just roasting information in general. I was amazed. All I wanna do is hang around the roaster for days and days and just watch Brian get more and more excited about his blends. Ha.

Our roaster blows my mind.

Plus if I lived there a cellphone would be useless. I get no reception in there.

this happened tonight

2009-11-17T20:09:00.000-08:00

Some customer: "Hey sir, you shouldn't leave your yogurt out on the counter, you should put it in the fridge."

Me: "What makes you think it is yogurt?"

Customer: "Well it's a yogurt container."

Me: "Never judge a book by its cover"

- it was Kraft Dinner in the container.

Nearing Completion

2009-11-15T00:29:00.000-08:00

This fall I decided it was time to record, package and release some songs that I have been intending to show my friends and family for a long while now. It seemed a fitting time and season to perhaps undertake this project. Those of you that have done it before, can likely agree that these things cannot be forced, they have to happen. And I think it happened..or maybe it was forced. Whatever.

Anyways. I will do an extended posting about the record details and concept of it all, but for now I will leave share with you the title and track listing.

To The Places We Go From Here

1. Another Fine Day Where You Are

2. Wake Me Up When I'll See You Again

3. I Came & I Went

4. Thanksgiving: Conversation

5. Thanksgiving: Harvest

6. Blanket of Security

7. I Want To Be Everywhere All At Once

I spent tonight at home, tracking some guitar. My intention is for this to be finished and ready to be handed to you all by the end of the month...perhaps even partnered with a low key evening of live music at someone's house, but for that to happen it may mean more weekend nights spent in my room...

.... that doesn't sound too bad if you ask me.

Back To Calgary: Some Pictures

2009-11-08T22:40:00.000-08:00

When I was in Calgary over Thanksgiving, I brought my friend Elissa's Canon film camera. I am not a photographer by any means, nor do I plan on pursuing this art form extensively, however I thought it would be amusing to attempt taking some film photos. So this is what came of it.

Halloween...

2009-10-31T15:10:00.000-07:00

its all hype. I am so over it.

Filtering My Stories

2009-10-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

This afternoon Lee made pancakes and I came to this conclusion:

I like to tell stories

Let's say that if I tell 10 stories a day, I figure that:

5 of those will be really good (I mean really thought provoking or really funny, just really good)

3 of those will be mediocre (You know, get a reaction but nothing really notable)

2 of those will just bomb (just fail so bad, people will walk out of the room)

Some people tell me that I tell too many stories. So I figure that if i consciously tell less stories I can knock off a few of those bad ones.

Hopefully I can start telling 5 stories a day. 4 really good ones and just 1 bad one.

Thanksgiving

2009-10-15T16:47:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a cheap flight, lack of employment, and hospitable friends, I find myself lounging in Calgary for a week or so. I had thanksgiving supper at Tubby Dog with Matt.

"The Gobbler" is a turkey dog, topped with mashed potatoes, stuffing, sauteed onions, cranberries, gravy, and apple sauce. I also enjoyed some excellent pumpkin pie.

I also ate with Aj and Chris. He made a dynamite ham...but I did not take any pictures of it.

Here is a list of things I am thankful for:

- My Mom and Dad and sisters

- "The House of Commons"

- Treelight Room

- The Atangard in Abbotsford

- having enough money to do what I do

- people that pursue relationships with me even though I am all over the place.

(you know who you are)

- how saturated Vancouver is with culture and arts and how I can be involved with it

- Pho

- Jordan Klassen's music

- A certain amount of consistency

- being able to do nothing sometimes

- all the opportunities I have had recently to fellowship with friends

- valuable and constructive conversation

What are you thankful for?

New Leaves

2009-09-22T16:44:00.000-07:00

If I may so bold as to say, my favourite artist of all time, Owen aka Mike Kinsella (American Football, Cap 'n Jazz, Joan of Arc, Owls) released another record today entitled "New Leaves" on Polyvinyl Records. The release of his last full length was in 2006, so needless to say I have been waiting in anticipation for this record, quite a while.

This album is still the Owen we have all grown to love, however it is evident that these songs were approached in a new light. During the writing process for this fifth album, Kinsella became both a husband and a father, adding a sense of repsonsibility and direction to his already respected and mature sound.

To accompany his new release, he produced a music video for the song "Good Friends with Bad Habits". I will venture to say that all of us reading this blog missed out on a historic Owen full-band performance in Chicago this past weekend. Footage of it has already begun to surface on YouTube. I cannot make it too easy for you, you have to go find that for yourself...

But here is the music video.

This is What I Do Now

2009-08-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

The fall comes and many of us take on new endeavors. School, new employment, etc. I choose to take on neither of those two, coincidentally. Instead, I have uprooted myself once again and migrated even further west to British Columbia. I am currently in Abottsford, but have spent time all over the place in the past month or so. I am finishing a project here and then heading into Vancouver come October. In Vancouver, I am joining the other two members of the band I am playing with. We are called Treelight Room.

Long story short, I met TLR on their spring western canada tour while I was accompanying prairie singer/songwriter Zachary Lucky. We played a couple weeks of shows together, concluded by a rather satisfying house show at my place in Calgary, altogether before parting ways. A few weeks later Jocelyn contacted me and introduced me to the idea of joining their band as a permanent member, as one of their guitarists, decided to leave the group. After much contemplation, some rather informal (and amusing) Skype auditions, a big move out west, and half a dozen shows already under out belt, I am the newest member of Treelight Room.

Hailing from Kelowna BC, we play laid back, but uplifting, acoustic indie folk pop. Anthony, Jocelyn and myself, shuffle between instruments, including acoustic guitars, piano, synthesizer, auxiliary percussion, as well as three part vocal arrangements.

Check out our music at our
myspace page

Or buy the whole record on the iTunes store

A Home is What I Had

2009-08-04T00:44:00.000-07:00

As I leave what was my home for the past year or so, I want to recognize some people that literally changed my life. As I encountered many people, there were some that had a real impact on me in the past while. You mean more to me than you will ever know. Here is to you.

Jenna Lane.

Brett Husband.

Kevvy Duty.

Davey Gravy.

NicoleIrene Dyck.

Craig Davies.

Amanda Swanson.

Kristal Gadsby.

Andrew Giles.

Tiffany Husband.

Matatha Barr.

James Hill.

Shanelle Romman.

Stephen Frederickson.

Drrll Hartsook.

Josiah Hughes.

Shauna Luedtke.

Lauren Mann.

Zach is Whack.

Matt Dyck.

Ashley Dawn Slagter.

Brendon Carlson.

Taylor Hammer.

Colin Chubachi.

Phil Griffin.

Caleb Wood.

Colin Tubb.

Blake Lowry.

Quotations: Part 1

2009-02-19T10:18:00.000-08:00

I am going to post a series of entries that consist of magnificent quotes from the books I have recently been reading. As some of you may know, I am a huge fan of fiction in general. Coincidentally, most of what I am planning on posting, for now at least, will come from said genre.

Last August I had an old friend (re)introduce me to an author who I had passed by one too many times; Chuck Palahniuk, most well known for his book Fight Club. She lent me the book, Survivor, which is his second book published in 1999 (following Fight Club in'96).

For the purpose of this series of entries, I am going to intentionally neglect recounting the plot and summary or really prefacing anything, so that in reading my quotes out of context, it will spark a curiosity for the true meaning of what Palahniuk was intending to communicate, and thus, you will take it upon yourself to read.

When I read fiction in particular, I typically carry a notebook of some nature in order to copy down quotes that really catch me, make me think or straight up floor me. Palahniuk has no shortage of any of these.

Here are some of my collected quotes from Survivor.

"Call me a sexual predator, but when I think of predators, I think of lions, tigers, big cats, and sharks. This is not so much a predator versus prey relationship, this isn't a scavenger, a vulture, or a laughing hyena versus a carcass. This isn't a parasite versus host. We're all miserable together. It's the opposite of a victimless crime." p. 278.

"Nothing shows the straight line from here to death like a list" p. 269

"Ignore how it feels when the only real talent you have is for hiding the truth." p. 268

"You think if you work harder and faster you can gold off the chaos, but then one day you're changing a patio light with a five year lifespan and you realize how you'll only be changing this light maybe ten more times before you'll be dead. Time is running out." p.263

"Think of this as valuable on the job training, think of your life as a sick joke;

What do you call a caseworker that hates her job and loses every client?

Dead.

What do you call the police worker zipping her into a rubber bag?

Dead.

What do you call the TV anchor in the front yard?

Dead.

It does not matter. The joke is we all have the same punch line." p.162

"Every breath is a choice, every minute is a choice; to be or not to be." p. 161

"Then I called the agent. The truth is, there's always been someone to tell me what to do. The church, the people who I work for, the caseworker, and I can't stand the idea of being alone. I can't bear the thought of being free." p.160

"Your realize that people take drugs because it's the only real personal adventure left to them in their time constrained law-and-order property-lined world. It's only in drugs and death that we'll see anything new, and death is just too controlling." p. 151

"I figured a few more sins would help me round out my resume. This is the upside of already being eternally damned. I figured, hell could wait." p. 128

"It's fertility who says, some stadiums when I am up front praising god, I'm the same as people wearing clothes printed with Mickey Mouse, or drinking Coca Cola. I mean, its so easy. It's not even a choice. You can't go wrong. Fertility says praising god is just such a safe thing to do you don't even have to give it any thought." p. 123

"The way fertility slouches with her elbows on the table and her face propped in her hands, her bored-colored red hair hanging limp in her face, you'd guess she's just arrived from some planet with not as much gravity as earth. As if just being here, as skinny as she is, she weighs eight hundred pounds." p. 120

"Don't ask me when because I don't remember when, but somewhere along the way, I keep forgetting to commit suicide." p. 88

"The idea of laundering anything makes me homesick for the sound for the sound of zippers going round in a clothes dryer." p.86

"I killed my brother. "

"I killed her brother,"

"I killed Adam Branson."

"I killed Trevor Hollis."

"You can't trust me around anybody's brother with a telephone or a rock." p. 25

Thankful

2009-01-18T00:41:00.000-08:00

I have met so many cool people lately. See, look.

From The Patio Haikus

2009-01-05T23:21:00.000-08:00

I have been so preoccupied with things these days I have neglected my blog. I have been writing more haikus, so, here, enjoy these until I post something else.

Brick laid patio

The sky is perfectly blue

Coffees are in hand

And another...

I watch the people

Double shots of espresso

in my black coffee

And another...

We like tobacco

I wish I had a cigar

Smoke would compliment

And another...

A jogger went by

Dangit! I spilt on my pants

Exercise is dece

And another...

A jogger went by

Maybe I should exercise

Instead I will nap

And another...

First day of the month

Maybe I should pay my bills

Take all my money

Break Time Haikus

2008-10-04T17:23:00.001-07:00

So I have been writing a lot of Haikus lately. Here are some I wrote during my break at work the other day.
Coffee break from Sept. 30th 2008. 7:30-7:45

I am comfortable
Today work is pretty nice
I have a latte

here is another...

I got a new drink
  Cinnamon Dolce Latte
   Two espresso shots

and another...

   The foam piles high
Here comes the cappuccino
Lets free pour that foam

and another one...

I need some new bev
One pound of beans to go please!
     Make it an African blend

and one more...

   My naan bread is gone
   And my veggies are eaten
  My break is over

There you go. Thought I would share those with you. It would appear as though there is a consistent coffee theme throughout the majority of this series. It is because I am training right now. I will share some more Haikus later.

Changing Colours

2008-09-25T11:37:00.000-07:00

You look at me with uncertainty,
You look at me with urgency.
You look at me with fear in your eyes
like you're about to fall away.

But don't be afraid to change your colours now.
I've known you all Summer, and you rose above it all.
I see you hesitate to fall now,
But it's a pretty good view from down here, too.

And when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think, and I will try to.
When you let go, I will let go, too.

I knew you when you were green and strong.
You were like a feather on a wing, so long.
You know I will miss you when you are gone,
but don't be afraid if you just can't hang on.

'Cause when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think and I will try, too.
And when you let go, I will let go, too.

The cold air is pushing hard on you.
I know what you're saying; I can feel it, too.
You'll go through changes, and I'll go through them too.
Don't be afraid now, don't be afraid.

'Cause when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think and I will try, too.
And when you let go, I will let go, too

RIP Daisy

2008-09-20T01:59:00.000-07:00

Today.
Wake up in 705 68th Ave SW.
Lyn and Aj come over for waffles and coffee and conversation.
I clean up.
Update my resume again and talk to my dad.
He is going to review it for me.
Just optimizing.
Set up MY5+5 on my new phone.
Love the bonus deals.
Let me know if you want to be in MY10.
Decide to go out and scope that pet store I saw down the street.
Ride over there and stop to take a call from Craig on the way.
Old friends never fail.
That pet store was a gold mine.
Cheapest crickets I have ever seen.
100 for $5!
Dope fish room and reptile room.
Guy knows his stuff.
Spotted the “hiring full and part time” sign I see everywhere these days.
Noted.
May tap into that market at a later date.
Schmoozed with manager.
Bought some aquarium rocks for now.
Good Find.
Ride home to find Brendon bought me a slurpee.
Sheer Beauty.
Plus my new macbook has arrived.
Evidently beyond siked.
Commence transfer of files onto new machine.
Decide to pack the pipe and mow the lawn to kill time.
Mow front and back.
Looks good.
Take a shower.
Check on transfers.
More time to kill.
Cook chicken breast that has been marinating all day.
Rice and a salad join the party.
Brendon’s friend Daralynne comes over.
Nice girl, good sense of humour.
We hang out.
I eat.
We walk over to sev so Brendon can get another slurpee.
We witness doodz smashing a windshield on the way.
We are sketched.
We call it in for good karma.
I don’t really believe in karma.
Brewed some coffee.
Daralynne peaced.
Decided to watch a movie.
Coffee and Cigarettes.
Was very impressed.
I suggest it.
Tired.
Night.

Turning Over Several Leaves

2008-09-17T22:25:00.000-07:00

Today.
Wake up in 705 68th Ave SW. Calgary.
Meet up with my Mom, sis, and Chris for some eats at Nelly’s.
Come back here and set up my recording gear and finish unpacking.
Listen to entire Death Cab discography throughout day.
Decide to take a bike ride.
End up going all the way downtown.
Meet a sketchy lady who talks to me about stealing crack.
Decide she is crazy and ride away.
Head back home.
Round trip an hour at a leisurely pace.
Not too bad.
Come home and set up my fish tank.
Want to add fish tomorrow night.
We will see what happens.
My sister eventually comes home from work which is good ‘cause I was starting to get bored.
Turned the fridge too cold today and froze Brendon’s water.
Oops.
Bake steaks with Aj for supper.
Yum.
She lets us have an old couch from her basement for free.
Bargain.
Take leftovers back to my house and spill them on the floor.
Lyn and I go for ice cream.
I get free sundae ‘cause of coupon.
Pretty stoked on this.
Come home and have a smoke with Brendon in the backyard.
It was a good cigar, but don’t remember what it was called.
I want Ben to get here fast ‘cause I need that kid, maybe I’ll see him this weekend.
Sat down and attempted to update my resume and brainstorm where I want to work.
Came to the realization that I don’t want to work, so I may deal with that next week.
Ate a bowl of cereal.
Heard a crash in the other room.
Sketched out.
Read a chapter in a book that does not belong to me.
Going to bed.

Sidenote

2008-07-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

I understand that I have not updated you folks recently, especially in regards to all my travels this summer, and for that I apologize. I will relay everything to you, do not fret. However, during my adventures I was introduced to an artist by the name of Jose Gonzalez, I will let him speak for himself.

Watch this video from start to finish, uninterrupted.

Hitting The Road: Taking on the Winds

2008-04-22T16:59:00.000-07:00

Well as some of you may know I am hitting the road in three days to meet up with my good friends in the melodic hardcore outfit Means, of Facedown Records for their May tour through the United States. I will be fulfilling the demanding duties their road crushing companion as I market their merchandise, haul their gear and pilot the van.

As for right now I have one more final exam to crush tomorrow morning, then after that I am home free! I will be hanging all afternoon, hosting a barbecue in the evening, and preparing for travels in between.

During my journey across the states, I will use Quiet Nights and Early Mornings as a means of updating you all with my current shenanigans and musings. So keep checking back to see what we are all up to.

Hope you are all ringing in the the summer in the correct fashion, whatever that may be. See you soon.

A Bookshop Shows It's ColORS.

2008-03-17T00:21:00.000-07:00

If you're looking for a particular book among the back shelves of San Francisco's Adobe Bookshop this week, disregard the section headings -- they won't offer any guidance. The store's collection of more than 20,000 used books has been rearranged and grouped according to the color spectrum. Red books are at the front, followed by orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet along the wall.

Entitled "There Is Nothing Wrong in This Whole Wide World," this temporary "exhibit" was the visual dream of artist Chris Cobb. He created the rainbow display in one night with the help of a group of volunteers.

Catching Up

2008-03-16T22:44:00.000-07:00

Here are some books I have been reading lately:

The narrative is set primarily in Europe at the end of World War II and centers on the design, and production and dispatch of V-2 rockets by the German military, and, in particular, the quest undertaken by several characters to uncover the secret of a mysterious device named "Schwarzgerat", which will be installed in a rocket with the serial number "00000".

Frequently digressive, the novel subverts many of the traditional elements of plot and character development, traverses detailed, specialist knowledge drawn from a wide range of disciplines, and has earned a reputation as a "difficult" book.

"Water for Elephants" is the story of Jacob Jankowski's life with the circus. Sara Gruen spares no detail in chronicling the squalid, filthy, brutish, circumstances in which he finds himself. The animals are mangy, underfed or fed rotten food, and abused. Jacob, once it becomes known that he has veterinary skills, is put in charge in the "menagerie" and all its ills. Uncle Al, the circus impresario, is a self-serving, venal creep who slaps people around because he can. August, the animal trainer, is a certified paranoid schizophrenic whose occasional flights into madness and brutality often have Jacob as their object. Jacob is the only person in the book who has a handle on a moral compass and as his reward he spends his most of the novel beaten, broken, concussed, bleeding, swollen, and hungover. He is the self-appointed Protector of the Downtrodden, and... he falls in love with Marlena, crazy August's wife. Not the best idea.

"The Kite Runner" tells the story of Amir, a boy from the Wazir Akbar Khan district of Kabul, who is haunted by the guilt of betraying his childhood friend Hassan, the son of his father's Hazara servant. The story is set against a backdrop of tumultuous events, from the fall of monarchy in Afghanistan theough the Soviet Invasion, the mass exodus of refugees to Pakistan and the United Stated, and the Taliban Regime.

Here are some videos I have been watching lately.

A Year In Review

2008-01-14T10:33:00.000-08:00

Another year has passed, and there was no lack of good music in regards to what consisted my listening. I am not solely basing this list on this year's releases alone, but rather on what mainly consumed my ears most frequently. I present to you, this year's top 10 most listened albums.

#10. Jimmy Eat World- Chase This Light

#9. Radiohead- in Rainbows

#8. Mixtapes and Cellmates- Mixtapes and Cellmates

#7. Anathallo- Floating Worlds

#6. I Am Robot And Proud- The Electricity In Your House Wants To Sing

#5. Owls- Owls

#4. Of Montreal- Sunlandic Twins

#3. The Acorn- Glory Hope Mountain

#2. The Album Leaf- In A Safe Place

#1. Owen- At Home With Owen

Waffles! Part I

2007-12-13T17:45:00.000-08:00

To my great pleasure, I have recently discovered a new profound love for waffles. I could explain to you what exactly served as a means for this rediscovery of, what to me, is the greatest food ever invented, however that would become far too lengthy and, in my judgement, one could never fully understand...
However, these past few weeks, as I have acquired my Yiayia's (greek for grandmother) sought after waffle iron, I have made what one could possibly identify as a plethora of waffles. Subsequently, I discovered how satisfying it was to archive all of the greatness my iron was creating, by simply photographing my waffles. Coincidentally, I have posted a few of my waffle photos for you to enjoy. Perhaps these may spark, for you, an urge to embark on a journey to discover the wonder of this underrated breakfast food.

This picture here was taken shortly following the creation of yet another delicious batch of

golden waffles. Pictures is my grandmother's waffle iron; it can make two perfectly cooked waffles simultaneously, which is great if you are interested in producing multiple waffles for a family or....say....a waffle party(!).

I often find myself wondering why food has to taste so good, thus being so appealing. Couldn't food have been created with no taste? This is plausible as the main purpose of food is to nourish us and not to taste good. But I think that certain things in life were made pleasurable solely to edify us as beings and to demonstrate that we have feelings and a we are not mindless drones...well...most of us. I try not to strain my brain contemplating these things and usually result to the consumption of more waffles.

In light of the Christmas season, I attempted to make some festive waffles, who's results, in

my opinion, were great. As you can see in this photo, I made green and red waffles to compliment the Christmas colours my mother has displayed around our house. I simply achieved this by adding standard food colouring to the waffle batter I had already prepared. I possess my own personal recipe for waffle batter that I am going to choose not reveal to you at this time as it is is being perfected.

Well I think this will bring my first waffle post to a close. I am going to leave you with a quote that has spoken quite a bit to me.

"Waffles are like pancakes with a syrup trap."

-Mitch Hedburg

The Great American Smokeout

2007-12-02T23:48:00.000-08:00

Humming to himself as he is thinking of his latest debts,
Juggling some numbered thoughts,
Wondering what might come next.
And knows he won't ever stop,
Unless he wants what he surely does not.

Oh, Jim, John, Jackie and Susie Q.
They mind their manners but so do you,
While we breathe all of these words that make no sense.

Humming to himself as he is thinking of his latest debts,
Juggling some numbered thoughts,
Wondering what might come next,
And swears he's right though he's convinced himself it is.
Working in an upscale place,
She is thinking of her son's demise.
On his epitaph a doctor's bill,
She puts off for another time.
And swears she won't ever stop,
Unless she wants what she surely does not.

Oh, Jim, John, Jackie and Susie Q.
They mind their manners but so do you,
While we breathe all of these words that make no sense.

Not gonna see till me singing does me wrong.
Not gonna hear till the fires have burned on.
Not gonna know.
Not gonna know till the feeling does me wrong.

Clarification

2007-11-13T00:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I use too many words to explain things.

Happy Endings?

2007-10-30T23:08:00.000-07:00

The other day in English class there was an idea that really struck me; without Christ, there is no hope for a happy ending. Allow me to elaborate...

We were having a class discussion concerning a piece of prose entitled Happy Endings (Margaret Atwood), that we had previously read. The intro to this passage was as follows:

"John and Mary meet.
What happens next?
If you want a happy ending, try A."

AKA, choose your own ending.

Proceeding, there was an "ending", A, to their life story together. This ending was seen as the happy one. In turn, John and Mary fell in love, got married, lived a comfortable life, had a family, took vacations, remained loyal to one another, and died later on in life, fully satisfied.

Then there came option B, as well as option C, followed by your choice of options D, E, and F. The difference between option A to those of C, D, E, and F, was that there was a distinct common denominator of an "unhappy" ending. For example, in ending B, Mary falls in love with John after meeting with him, but John does not fall in love with Mary. John merely uses Mary and her body for selfish pleasure. He goes to her apartment as scheduled, twice a week for supper and sex. Mary does not particularly enjoy the routine, but she has convinced herself that eventually he will come to depend on her, and they will get married and live happily ever after...

Eventually Mary gets fed up, and her friends make mention to her that they have seen John around with another woman, Madge. Mary has had enough. She gets all the aspirin she can find together and swallows them. She left John a note she hoped he will find, and when seeing her in this state, take her to the hospital, but John does not find her and she dies.

John marries Madge and they live as in A.

Not quite the ending Mary was hoping for.

Subsequently, the endings C, D, E, and F are similar to B in many aspects. In one, John marries to another woman, but he continues to see Mary who is much younger than the middle aged, overweight, balding, John. He has a stable life with his wife. Mary is truly in love with a younger more adventurous man, but she sleeps with John because she feels sorry for him. One day John walks in on Mary and the younger male. John, devastated, later purchases a gun and takes the lives of Mary and her other man, followed by his own. John's wife grieves for a period, but finds another husband and continues as in ending A.

In another ending, Mary and John remain with one another and start a life. Their apparent success is cut short by a natural disaster which has the potential to destroy their entire estate. But with perseverance and luck, the two pull through and remain faithful and live on as in A.

The other endings are similar to the ones I described, but contain small twists.

And so it goes.

After reading all that, the part that really struck me, which my class mates and teacher really made evident, was that even though there was an apparent happy ending in A, my class mates saw it as merely that the two just lived and died, simply. They lived an apparent monotonous repetitive life, where as the other endings were filled with suspense and and adventure, as seen by my class mates.

I realized that all the endings, in the view of the secular world are all the same. They all end in death. While reading all of the endings, they all seemed bleak, and sad in comparison to that of A. It is not until we have read them all that my class, not actually to my great surprise, made the implication that the least attractive life to lead would have been A. Is this how the world sees faithfulness and devotion?

If looked at from a purely materialist view, it is true, we would all die and that would be the end of our existence, so why not live as WE please? I mean, if we do end up hurting someone or driving them to death, well, we all die so why does it matter when, and on what terms?

But the idea that there is life beyond earthly death renders the endings we see in the story, not endings at all, but rather minute transitions in eternity. This would mean one would have to completely disregard any sort of eternal life beyond earth all together, which seems to me, pretty questionable. My point is that without Christ in our life, Atwood's implication in this passage is correct, we all live, and we choose what to live by, and then we die. That is it. End of story. But with Jesus and his life, death and resurrection, we are given a model to live by, thus setting the moral standard.

It is disappointing, but not all to surprising, to see these ideas being agreed upon by many people. To embrace the fact that there is life beyond death, would mean eventually accepting that reasoning beyond the capabilities of your own mind and what we can physically see on earth, could be the truth. And that is one idea that many people have not yet come to accept.

All Too Familiar

2007-10-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

Then all of a sudden, out of a clear blue sky, old Sally said, "Look. I have to know. Are you or aren't you coming over to help me trim the tree Christmas Eve? I have to know." She was still being snotty on account of her ankles when she was skating.
"I wrote you I would. You've asked me that about twenty times. Sure, I am."
"I mean I have to know," she said. She started looking all around the goddam room.
All of a sudden I quit lighting matches, and sort of leaned nearer to her over the table. I had quite a few topics on my mind. "Hey, Sally," I said.
"What?" she said. She was looking at some girl on the other side of the room.
"Did you ever get fed up?" I said. "I mean did you ever get scared that everything was going to go lousy unless you did something? I mean do you like school, and all that stuff?"
"It's a terrific bore."
"I mean do you hate it? I know it's a terrific bore, but do you hate it, is what I mean."
"Well, I don't exactly hate it. You always have to--"
"Well, I hate it. Boy, do I hate it," I said. "But it isn't just that. It's everything. I hate living in New York and all. Taxicabs, and Madison Avenue buses, with the drivers and all always yelling at you to get out at the rear door, and being introduced to phony guys that call the Lunts angels, and going up and down in elevators when you just want to go outside, and guys fitting your pants all the time at Brooks, and people always--"
"Don't shout, please," old Sally said. Which was very funny, because I wasn't even shouting.

The Sad Waltzes

2007-09-30T22:56:00.000-07:00

Could you love someone enough
after all you've had and you've lost?
It's a simple question,
and I'm only asking 'cause I don't want to die alone.

Could you love someone completely?
And yes, by someone I mean me,
spoiled sick like milk you let sit too long.
It's a simple question.

As I lie awake
waiting for you to wake beside me,
you can almost hear the sad waltzes
of Pietro Crespi.

Could you love someone
who does whatever he wants to do,
whenever I want to?
It's a simple question,
and I'm only asking 'cause I don't want to die alone

The Life We Live [Part I]

2007-09-29T22:52:00.000-07:00

As people of today, we live in an interesting world. A world that is fast paced and teeming with information. However, it strikes me as ironic that in a world of much information and intelligence, we are a people that are more confused and lost than ever. We face countless issues of fear, loneliness, violence and pain.

As I think of these global struggles, I cannot help but remember that these struggles were also a reality thousands of years ago. More specifically in the day of Daniel, Shadrach, Meschach and Abed-nego. Just as many of us feel the pressure to live by a certain expectation from others, these three young men were chosen by King Nebuchadnezzar, who was now ruler of Jerusalem, to live a life completely surrendered to himself. These four were the "cream of the crop" in the region, and were recruited to be trained and educated in the ways of the Chaldeans and ultimately raised for the kings service.

But choosing to live by a higher standard than that of this ungodly king, they chose not to defile themselves with his food, and ways of life, but challenged the commanding officer and ate not of the kings table, but instead, vegetables for ten days. The decision to eat vegetables was not one made up on their own, but rather a calling on their lives from God, to which they were sensitive. After ten days, they were compared to the other men being raised up under the kings standard, Daniel, Shadrach, Meschach and Abed-nego appeared noticeably healthier. The overseer continued to withhold the kings choice food and the wine they were to drink, and kept giving them vegetables.

As for these four youths, God gave them knowledge and intelligence in every branch of literature and wisdom; Daniel even understood all kinds of visions and dreams. After their training was finished and they were brought before the king, and after talking to the king, none other were found as they, consequently, they entered the kings direct service. This to me in particularly interesting because in most cases when one does not follow the commandments of authority, they are immediately punished, especially when the one they are defying is in such a position as a king. You will notive, however, that these four young men are evidently in the hands of Christ as they found incredible favour with not only the commanding officers, but essentially with King Nebuchadnezzar himself!

Now in the second year of the reign of Nebuchadnezzar, he had dreams; and his spirit was troubled and his sleep left him. He king gave orders to call in the magicians, the conjurers, the sorcerers and the Chaldeans to tell the king his dreams. So they came in and stood before the king. The king proceeded to inform them that if they did not make known to him the dreams AND their meaning, that they would be brutally murdered and their houses burned to the ground. The Chaldeans replied fatefully that there was not one person on earth that could possibly do so, and that no king had ever asked such a great task.

With this, there was a decree passed that all wise men in Babylon shall be taken and slain, and so with this, Daniel and his friends were also taken to be killed. That night Daniel had a vision given to him by God, and in the morning requested to be brought before the king to interpret his dream.

Daniel recounted King Nebuchadnezzar's dream exactly as it occured and the significance of the events that took place in the dream. The king answered Daniel and said, “Surely your God is a God of gods and a Lord of kings and a revealer of mysteries, since you have been able to reveal this mystery.

Then the king promoted Daniel and gave him many great gifts, and he made him ruler over the whole province of Babylon and chief prefect over all the wise men of Babylon, and Daniel made request of the king, and he appointed Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego over the administration of the province of Babylon, while Daniel was at the king’s court.

That is not all of the story, it continues from this point, but that is all that I am going to dwell on now.
One of the most powerful parts of passage is that all of this started as the four young men who were simply not being satisfied with just living the life which all of the other men their age, in their exact position were, but instead strived to live to the higher standard; submitting to the will of God.

Through their surrender to Christ, it was evident to Nebuchadnezzar that they served a God mightier than that of the idols of their land, and a power much mightier than that of his, as a king.

I could truly reflect and share thoughts on this passage for days and nights, but instead I will allow you to personally do such. This passage is found in the first chapter of the book of Daniel in the Old Testament. Read with an open heart.

Peace be with you.